Thursday, March 19, 2009

Torn Between The Two...

So this is my first time blogging. I never understood the point of 30 year old people sitting home alone on their computers writing their feelings for all the world to see, when they could be out changing the circumstances that they are blogging about. I never got the point, until now. My best friend is in Australia for two months and I need to tell somebody my feelings. If you are reading this and getting bored, I dont give a shit. Sorry, but I am a 16 year old girl, an average typical girl in society, who doens't care what you think. I'm writing this for me and me only. If you want to subscribe, good for you. Believe me, you'll be in for a treat as my life is a movie, a comical drama-filled suspenseful romance film. My life has got it all, and if you are interested in hearing my side of the story, then welcome to my blog. I'm a spitfire, I can assure you of that, but I'm not a bitch. If you have problems and you think I can help, feel free to contact me and I'll see what I can do. So back to the title of todays blog, "Torn Between The Two". I'm a big codename user, so don't be surprised if I start saying stuff like "XY slapped Strawberry across the face. She totally lost it". Today's dilemma is about the two boys I am interested in. Lets call him Tadpole. I think he is very cute and very sweet. He is sort of a drama queen though, which can be annoying. If I step on his toes, he is sure to flip out. He is the one who asked me out last week. I couldn't stop smiling as he sent me texts about how he has liked me since the beginning of freshman year and how he wants to be with me and hold me tight. I HAVE A PROBLEM. When boys become too mushy and love-sick, it makes ME sick. I start to pull away, and I don't know why. I'm not a prude by any means, not saying I'm easy either but I don't consider that moving too quickly, yet I feel as if I need to get out of the relationship ASAP. I still like him, but I feel like I need to get out of the relationship, because its not fair to him and because of the bigger problem, Fuzzy. Fuzzy is the cutest guy at school, in my opinion. I have had a crush on him (BEWARE: Approaching A Cliche) since I first laid my eyes on him. He is such a sweetheart and is a really good friend of mine. He is the boy that sends me a text or comments me on facebook, and my heart has a spasm and my stomach does flips. Did you ever have that feeling where you were sure that everyone around you could hear your heart pounding and thudding his name outloud? Thats how it is for me all the time. With Fuzzy in the picture, Tadpole seems almost non-existent. Is that bad? I know it is, but I think I may be falling in love with Fuzzy. Don't gasp because you are thinking "She's only 16, she doens't know the true meaning of love!" I don't have to be 35 years old to have emotions as strong as I do now. Love is NOT wisdom, it doens't grow with age. You either love someone or you don't, yes it can sneak up on you and you can end up loving someone you never thought you would. All I'm saying is that this situation can arise when you at 16 or 60. As I was saying, I think I love Fuzzy and I don't know what to do with Tadpole. I texted my bff and she said to be straight up with him and break it off. I told her thats what I wanted to do, but he is such a drama queen! If I break it off with him, I know he will end up hating me for the next 4 months and I don't really want to deal with that, ya dig? I mean he is cute, but my heart doesn't beat "Tadpole" when I see him. Before you get thte wrong impression, Fuzzy doesn't like me the way I like him. I don't think he does atleast, we are just good friends. If he did, I would be jubilant beyond belief. I probably would stop breathing. We have been drifting apart over the last month or so, because of BITCHZILLA. I am telling you, she is a complete horror to be around. Fuzzy and I were getting close, but Bitchzilla couldn't have that. They used to go to school together, where they were rivals. I am talking old western movie with the random tumbleweed blowing through, having their guns loaded and cocked. Bitchzilla started picking up on my love vibes towards Fuzzy and she felt the need to GET INVOLVED. I could kill her I swear to God, she is dead to me. She has spread more rumors about me in the last few months then I thought possible. Of course, the first person she tells these rumors to are Fuzzy. Why can't we just be friends, Fuzzy and me that is. I don't know what to do, I really just want to curl up in sweatpants a hoodie and a blanket next to a lit fire and read. I never want to leave my "happy place", if you will. Suggestions are welcome and needed. I am so messed up. Peace out-- Silvertext <3